This shit is a struggle, but you have to go because it pays the bills.

Dealing with unapologetic and spontaneous pain all throughout the day, everyday, is no joke. No matter how often it occurs, I’m still never prepared for the pain to hit. I don’t know how I am tolerating it and I do not know how other women deal either. There are mornings where I have to weigh the pros & cons of working from home or going into the office. Then I wonder if this would affect my job. There are many evenings when I have to debate the best time to leave the office so I could possibly catch an empty train with available seating, just in case the pain kicks in. You start considering a lot more than you already were and it could become stressful.

I am very fortunate with my current job. I have a manager who is very human and a job that can be done from anywhere. Although my manager may not know exactly what I am dealing with or how I am feeling, HE knows that it’s serious and when I need a break, I need a break. He also doesn’t want me to start hitting him with the hard words, like uterus, period and cramps. We have a solid understanding.

With all of the support at work, I still feel like I have to work harder to prove that I can still do my job. I usually work through my pain the majority of the time but if I feel like the pain is starting to effect my work, I get up from my desk and take a lap around the office. Sometime I go outside for “fresh” air (NYC does not have fresh air). I even sit in the wellness room for awhile. There are even times when I have leave early but I always ensure that my work is complete.